Breaking up sucks. Even if the relationship wasn’t the best, sometimes splitting up with a partner dramatically alters your day-to-day life and has emotional repercussions that can send you into a tailspin. Getting through this can be difficult, but here are a few tips to get you back on your feet.
Accept the feeling you are having
We tend to bottle things up or direct our emotions at something else, when really, we need to just accept them for what they are. Anger, sadness, jealousy, worthlessness, emptiness etc. are all normal feeling after a break-up. Allowing yourself time to embrace the grief and sadness will help you move on; letting you become in touch with both yourself and your emotions. Don’t try to avoid or suppress feeling what you feel, emotions have a function and are there for a reason, even if unpleasant.
Friends are the key
Breakups can make even the strongest people feel like they’re worthless or not good enough. Hang out with people that appreciate you and remind you of what a good person you are. Having a strong support network is essential. Friends can show you that you still matter and that you still belong and deserve love. When your self-esteem is at an all time low, these are the people who can help empower you while you work on defining your own self-worth.
Snapchat, Facebook and Instagram. Block them. If the temptation to see if they’ve been paying attention to your stories is too much, just block them. You can block, unfollow, or soft-block (which is when you block someone already following you, then unblock them. This lets them still look you up and see your profile, but they will no longer be following you.) You need time and space to heal, and seeing him pop up in your Instagram stories and Facebook feed can be triggering and send you into a spiral of obsessively stalking him on social media; wondering how they can be moving on, or even looking for the new woman in his life.
Stop blaming yourself
Stop blaming yourself and thinking things like, “If only I’d watched more Bourne movies/dyed my hair blonde/was cooler. etc” It takes two to break up. The problem wasn’t just you, it was you two as a couple. If you try to look at the relationship from the outside, maybe you’ll have an easier time seeing how you both contributed to the breakup. “If only” will just upset you and make you doubt yourself worth.
Talk to a professional
Sometimes we need to talk to someone new, a stranger. Depending on the break up this might be a therapist, a councillor, or a divorce lawyer in Melbourne. Talking to a professional can let you relieve yourself of all your thoughts and get advice from someone who isn’t biased and can give you professional help on how to move on. You will hear it from your mother and friends but sometimes we need to hear it from someone else before we follow it.
Practise some self love
Workout, meditate, take bubble baths, buy new makeup or even just start regularly washing your face. Practising self love can boost your mood and self confidence whilst diverting your focus. Practicing self-love can be challenging for many of us, It’s not about being self-absorbed or narcissistic, it’s about getting in touch with ourselves, our well-being and our happiness. We practice self-love so we can push through our limiting beliefs and live a life that truly shines.
Listen to yourself
You feel like you want to cry? Then cry, Feel like you are ready to move on? Then try. You know yourself better than anyone else does so don’t let a break up cloud your judgement. Listen yourself will give you insight on what you need to do to feel better, granted maybe discuss stuff with your friends first before going and getting bangs cut or dying your hair.
Break ups suck, but they don’t suck forever. Eventually, we move on and with these few tips the process can be made easier; allowing you to get back on your feet in no time.